Talk is cheap, unless you know what to say and when to say nothing at all
My young colleague had been excited to be pregnant, so when she was absent for a few days long before her due date, I didn’t think it could be good news. It wasn’t; she had suffered a miscarriage. Oh dear. How to respond to this sad and unexpected experience when she returned to work? Certainly not by avoiding her or pretending the loss had not occurred. However, I also didn't want to catch her off guard, so I simply left a card on her desk, acknowledging her loss and wishing her fortitude over the next while. I remember her gratitude for that small gesture of empathy on my part. I was reminded of this incident from more than 30 years ago, when I read a post online last week, the gist of which was how difficult it seems to be for so many to say the right thing to a friend or colleague in the face of their sad or distressing situation. It’s true; it can be hard, and I would be lying if I said that I had never crossed the street (literally or metaphorically) to avoid someone to whom...