Anniversary post: Love rooted deep

“For it to last a lifetime, love has to be immense at the start.”

Margaret Gore, character in Four Letters of Love by Niall Williams 


The hydrangeas planted two seasons ago are running amuck in the raised bed; they droop in the rain, get bashed by the wind, and their beautiful flower-heads hang from the stems as if tired in their home. They are not what I expected or what I want in that spot anymore. I am going to dig them up and move them. They have no choice in this matter. 

Val and I mark 32 years together this August 31st, an anniversary we count on the day we got legally married 12 years ago. At that time, we had been together 20 years. But numbers don’t tell the story of a relationship. The roots that nurture it tell the tale. Our roots go deep, keeping us tethered in the here and now of being together, still, after all these years. We have had an ordinary life — ups and downs, health scares and health recoveries, job losses and career changes, parental deaths, and cats being found, being claimed, and being sent off to the catnip meadow in the sky. All of it evidence of a good life built from the love sparked way back then; immense, incontrovertible ... it shimmers still today.

There is a deep knowing between us, an understanding that, regardless of all else, we are in this life together — for the duration. The horizon is closer, the planning more moderate, the expectations curtailed by the simple truth of aging. There will be no moving from here, not at this point. Our roots right here go deep; they hold us firm and clear against whatever comes our way. Every day. 

We have choice in the matter of our life together and we choose each other, still. Rooted deep and strong. Thirty-two years and counting.

Amanda & Val, 2025


Comments

  1. Happy Anniversary to you and Val! Deep strong roots are a good thing. Sorry about the hydrangeas. What will you put in its place?

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    1. Thank you, Grace. Moving the hydrangeas seems like quite a big gardening task to undertake, but I hope to move them into the bed, also in the front, that currently holds the spirea -- take some of that (wild thing) out to make space for at least a couple of the hydrangeas. We shall see. I will take pics and post them to FB; fingers crossed! As for replacing them with something else, I am thinking about some tall grasses and maybe a bee balm (monarda), as the one that is in the big front bed has attracted hummingbirds!

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  2. I read your last line as “thirty-two years and courting!” Happy anniversary to the both of you. Xo

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  3. A beautiful tribute to your commitment….thriving and deepening. I was so thrilled to be at your wedding❤️

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  4. Happy Anniversary dear friends, a lovely tribute Amanda to your strong and lasting relationship with Val. I too was thrilled to be at your wedding.

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  5. Happy anniversary! True love 💕

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  6. Happy anniversary! Much love to both of you. 🥰

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  7. From Celia: A matchless life together. Sending joy and love for your next chapter together.

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  8. Happy anniversary to you and Val.

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  9. Beautiful sentiments, beautiful couple. If ever a couple belonged together…

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  10. How fortunate you are, happy anniversary, I know that every relationship takes a lot of love and forgiveness, how wonderful that you found each other. Here's to more joy, laughter and love.

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  11. Happy Anniversary!
    Wonderful photo! Beautifully written, capturing a deeply valued love.

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  12. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your wonderful relationship. In our world today it is so good to know that love can take root and last a lifetime. You go girls!!

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  13. Happy Anniversary Amanda and Val !

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