A Post a Day in May 2019 #12: Mother’s Day

I have pledged to write a new post for this blog every day in May. 

I have never seriously contemplated being a mother. I did go through a stage in my early feminism when I would say, to anyone foolish enough to ask about my procreative plans, that I was planning on having six children. My reply would stop the conversation in its tracks, which was precisely my intention. 

I have not had children, but I have a spectacular mother: Anne. My mum is still going strong as she approaches her 91st birthday this coming November. Today, on Mother’s Day, I celebrate her and some of what she has given me. 

Unconditional love: Always and consistently, I have known that I was loved for who I am, through and through. No conditions have ever been placed on me in order to receive the love of my mother. And she has extended this loving approach, without exception, to the friends and partners I’ve brought home with me.

The wisdom of her experience: When I was preparing to leave for my ‘gap year’ in Europe after high school, Mum said to me, “In my experience, the only regrets I’ve had are for what I have not done. So say yes to everything and have a terrific time.” I do not know how she had the courage to send me off with such generosity of advice, but she did, and I did say yes to pretty much everything — and I had a truly terrific time without a single terrible thing happening to me. Some of that was pure dumb luck, and that’s good enough for me. 

Critical reading/Constructive editing: Seared into my memory is one particularly ‘tough love’ example of my mother’s writing and editing gift. I was in my last year of high school, trying to write an essay for my English class. I had left it late, the damn essay was due the next day. Mum stayed up most of the night with me, coaching me through the thinking, talking me through the writing, and guiding me in the editing and revising. I recall myself as a grumbling and reluctant participant in this process, and I have no memory of what I earned for this heroic effort by my mother, but I do know that it is thanks only to Mum that I had an essay to submit. Never underestimate the sacrifice someone makes when they offer to read your writing and give honest feedback. To do this with integrity and good humour takes more effort and energy than you might imagine, and Mum has willingly done this for me my entire life.

And, so, while I am not, myself, a mother, I know precisely what a spectacular mother looks like and how she loves: Thanks for everything, Mum, and happy Mother’s Day. I celebrate you today, and every day. 

xo

Amanda 

Thanks for reading. 

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