A Post a Day in May #28: The third place
I have pledged to write a new post for this blog every day in May.
I learned recently about the concept of the “third place” in our lives. Some expert on the radio was talking about how our first place is home and our second place is work. He went on to explain how the third place in our lives is where we like to spend time when neither at home nor at work; it can be programmed (i.e., formal, organized, defined) or organic.
Ray Oldenburg wrote about this in his book The Great Good Place (1989). He argues third places are important for civil society and democracy, and he names as examples cafes, clubs, libraries, parks and churches. “Anchors” of community life, these places foster “broad and creative interaction” as people relax in public and encounter old friends and make new ones.
The interview got me wondering just where my third place is, and I have come to realize that I don’t have one — unless I can count the sidewalks in my neighbourhood when I’m walking to my bus stop. On those walks, I definitely encounter old friends and I certainly nod good morning or afternoon to acquaintances (and their dogs) who tend to keep the same schedule I do. But I wouldn’t say that I’m relaxing or having creative interactions when I’m walking; I’m too focused on getting where I’m going. So, I’m back to just two places in my life: home and work.
In fact, I’ve never had a third place where I have gone expressly to hang out and connect with people. I’m not a hermit: I’ve had meetings to go to, lessons to attend, sports events to compete at, and social outings to go on, but a public place to routinely socialize? No. I’m tempted by the idea, though. Very tempted. I like the thought of being a regular in a cafe, where everyone knows my name and the server knows my order. And I have every intention of finding such a third place when I leave full-time work.
For the moment, however, I shall have to be content with the brief hellos I exchange with dog walkers in my neighbourhood and the comments dear readers post to my blog.
Thanks for reading.
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Whoa. I suspect I'm a hermit?
ReplyDeleteBut wait.
Since I retired and took work off the list of places to be, I do have a place I hang out. Several of them. All virtual. I've often thought that this was a bad thing, that screen time was inherently evil. But I'm not ten. I read tons of books. I cook fairly fabulous food for my partner and me. I walk the dogs and talk to the neighbors and go to old ladies' water ballet. AND I hang out here and there on the internet.
This is where I met my child bride 24 years ago, where I met Crone and Goldie and Duby and Kcera and all those old friends with whom I've shared holidays with in 3-D and stayed in touch via e mail and messaging. This is where I've met new friends. Like you! And this is where I try out ideas, thoughts, even feelings sometimes.
It is not sitting in a cafe on a sidewalk in Paris, welcoming the same flaneurs every afternoon, but it's easy and inexpensive. Coffee?
An interesting concept. I thought about it, and I believe my third place will always be inside a book.
ReplyDeleteAnd reading this particular essay of yours makes me think that you could really get into "M Train" by Patti Smith. Do you know it? I have read this book twice in the past couple of years, and will probably go back to it again and again. She has such a fine mind and voice, and writes about only the cryptically important things, and is about as far removed from being a typical celebrity rock star as one could imagine.
Patti is one of those people whose third place is the café where she writes.