A Post a Day in May #24: Sins Part II

-

I have pledged to write a new post for this blog every day in May. 

Continued from yesterday’s post, Sins I

When in doubt, look to your elders for direction. I do. 

I look to my mother. She drops the F bomb, sometimes casually, other times mindfully and with exquisite care to evoke just the right reaction. Who can argue with one’s mother? 

I look to Dame Helen Mirren, who is quoted as saying she wishes that she’d said ‘fuck off’ more as a young woman. Who would argue with the woman who played the iconic Detective Tennison, the powerful Queen Elizabeth I, and the remarkable Queen Elizabeth II? 

And I look to Dame Judi Dench, who not only says fuck off, but embroiders it for all eternity in cross stitch. 

I can even, as I learned recently through research, look to our primate forebears. “Swearing is good for you”, intones this National Geographic article, “and chimps do it, too.” It states that “new research reveals that profanity has many positive virtues, from promoting trust and teamwork in the office to increasing our tolerance to pain.” Let your tongue loose, my friends — mindfully, intentionally. And reap the rewards. 

Beyond swearing as “an act of verbal civil disobedience”, Mona Eltahawy writes in her book The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls that as women, we should use our anger as a bridge to action; take up space in the world; honour our own ambition; disrupt the patriarchy; fight back against violence; and own our body. 

And I say, dear Reader: If these are sins, then I am a committed sinner. 

#mfgp 

------------

Writers want to be read, so comments, rebuttals and feedback are all welcome. Subscribe to the blog to receive the posts direct into your email inbox. Use Google Chrome or FireFox as your browser, if you have problems via Safari. I cannot post comments via Safari, but can via Google Chrome. 

Comments

  1. PamelakatMay 24, 2020 at 5:34 PM

    In complete agreement with this two-part essay! How freeing it was when I first started to drop that f-bomb - always with discretion, for therein lies its strength. From there came the other sins, also applied when needed, and not so much that they become just a tiresome expectation of one's personality. Expressing anger. Taking up space. Exploring one's own power. Owning one's sexuality. A recipe for retaining one's place in the world throughout life.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Comments are moderated. Please be respectful.

Popular posts from this blog

Listening for the piano / Thinking about grief

-
Image
Grief is not a land in which I have travelled much, though I routinely explore it via others’ experience. I am drawn to do this as a student is drawn to the masters: To observe, to sit with, to wonder if those others’ experiences might help prepare me for my own when I find myself in that place. Will it? Sara Paretsky, author of the V.I. Warshawski mystery series, says that the grief over her long-time husband’s death hit her like a grand piano falling out of the sky onto her head. There is no pre-mourning, she says. Nonetheless, I persist in my studies: Memoirs of loss. Stories of grief. Tales of survival. I sit with those experiences. The words, the feelings, the anguish wash over me. And I ask myself: Will the sun rise tomorrow? Will I see it when it does?  Should I worry about this? Should I just expect, presume that what has always been will always be? Absurd. It will not always be. The loves of my life are all older, are all old. 95, my mother. Almost 80, my p...
Read more

Anniversary post: This year marks 31 together

-
Image
Amanda and Val: many years ago and today.  Man, look how young we were. Sheesh. Thirty-one years and counting certainly shows. But who in their right mind would care about wrinkles or grey hair when it is a good and generous love that has propelled us through the years together.  Every good story is told through both summary and scenes. Val & Amanda’s story: The summary A generous love that has withstood the challenges of two bouts of cancer and multiple joint replacements, of job changes and career disappointments, of cats found and cats lost, of parents living and parents dying. Two women, together, building a good life. Amanda: Three scenes April 1997: Val and I are driving from Winnipeg  down through the Dakotas and Wyoming and Utah to Arizona, camping in a tent along the way and marvelling at what we can do together, still, after Val’s cancer diagnosis earlier that year. At a roadside cafe somewhere in Utah, a woman asks me if we are sisters. Without skipping a b...
Read more

If pride comes before a fall, what comes after disappointment?

-
Image
Disappointment is not something any of us aim for, I’m sure. The very last thing I ever want to be told by someone is that they are disappointed in me. But this week, I have been very disappointed in others. Life goes on, but that niggling thread of “if only” and “why could it not have been different” lingers in the corners of my mind. Last week’s lightening-quick sale of our cottage ended in disappointment all round when the deal fell through at the final hurdle. The details are not what matter here; what matters is that age-old life lesson about counting your chickens before they’re hatched and sharing good news before it is fully rooted and secured. But who among us has not jumped the gun? Presumed that all would go as promised, as planned? Believed in the goodness of people and trusted that the story would unfold as it had begun — smoothly, seamlessly, successfully? Ah, well. Sometimes it just doesn’t. So we find ourselves at a new beginning, with a different round of showings and...
Read more