Measuring and managing
Reaching out for help during a time of change is a smart move, and one that — if we are fortunate to find the right help and support — will take us faster and further through whatever situation we are facing.
My current change is the move from full-time absorbing work to the state of retirement. Whatever that word conjures up for you, for me, even while I am living it, I am wondering what exactly it means for me. I don’t yet know, but I do know that probing conversations with friends willing to act as sounding boards for my exploratory ideas are proving helpful in clarifying my thoughts.
Like any good practice, sorting through ideas and feelings by explaining them out loud to a generous listener takes both commitment and persistence. We don’t learn best by doing something only once. We learn through intentional repetition. And, sometimes often usually, we learn better with the aid of a prop that supports us in that repetition. In this sense, a cookbook is a prop when we’re learning how to eat differently. A YouTube video is a prop for us in a new exercise routine. A phrase book is a prop as we learn a new language.
For me, a star chart is also a prop — one that keeps me focused and motivated. I love seeing each day concretely represented in the chart on the paper, with the little box sitting there, waiting for me to check it off when the day is done — presuming that I have done what the star chart is encouraging me to do each day, of course.
I have two versions of a star chart going at the moment: one is a painted mat marking out twelve months, the other is a 6-piece 2-sided puzzle that measures out one day by activities completed. I am using both to find my way into the rhythm of my newly retired state.
I want the expansive time I now have to neither slip away from me in wanton wasting, nor to stretch endlessly in front of me for the rest of my days. No. I want to measure time and, by doing so, to better appreciate every minute of every day I have before me and to appreciate that I can take time — a full year is what I have given myself — to find my way into a state of meaningful and fulfilling retirement from the 9 to 5 work world in which I spent about four decades. The blue mat (see pic below) is my prop for this 12-month timeline.
With the other chart, I am measuring each day by considering the six activities listed on it, one on each puzzle piece, and turning each one over when I have achieved it. A full day of fulfilling activities renders a complete image on the reverse side, each puzzle piece representing one category of activity (see second pic below).
One cannot manage what one does not measure, so in the absence of really knowing what retirement is all about for me, I am focused on measuring the time I have as a way of managing it productively. I’m either super stunted that I can be motivated by the props I have created, or I am super smart to give myself such props to motivate me into productive action each day. For the moment, I’m going with super smart :)
I’ve painted an old placemat and marked out the 12 months between September 2021 and August 2022.
I figure that over that stretch of 12 months I should be able to figure out what retirement looks like for me. At the end of each month, I will glue a small stone to mark its ending. I am calling this version of a star chart a ‘stone board’.
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| I thought about what I would like my days to include and then wrote those activities down and traced puzzle pieces around them, cut them out and pasted them onto the image of the lovely view. When the day begins, the pieces are turned over with the writing showing; by day's end, I have turned them over to build the lovely view. Every day doesn't result in the full view, but many days do. |
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Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation. Gold stars photo by Tengyart on Unsplash.com |
My. At first I thought that this was the first time we must agree to disagree. Then I realized that it was only that we are different. And viva la difference! It's been fifteen years since I approached retirement, and it wasn't easy. I went from being the person in charge of many to being in charge of only myself. That latter state was difficult. At first I filled eight hours of every day with furious housecleaning, laundry, shopping, gardening, volunteer work with the same demographic I had cared for, hospice clients and families. My dog turned into an actor, playing Toto in a huge production of "The Wizard of Oz". That involved rehearsal nightly for a couple of months and then a ten day run. And after that, getting him certified as a therapy dog who accompanied me on visits.
ReplyDeleteI was as busy as I was when I was working, but I wasn't getting paid! After a couple of years of that, I just quit! And decided I would read every book I ever wanted to, take nice afternoon naps, and explore new recipes. What I didn't expect was becoming the "camp nurse" -- for the neighborhood and for Julie's enormous family! I've discovered that being a nurse is a bit like being a mother. There is no finish line. It never stops.
Anyway, back to my premise that we agree to disagree. I was wrong. We just are creative in different ways, find pleasure in different activities, have different skill sets. Isn't this variety, same but different, that makes people friends? I think so. I know so. xo
Ann - I am feeling this retirement gig as an un-learning of the 9-5 pace of the standard work world and a re-learning of how to use time differently on several different levels.
DeleteI think it must be Toby, the Wonder dog, you are describing as the actor. If I'm right, I now understand why he was so very special. What a great life he had with you. // xo
You are a “Rock Star “ !
ReplyDeleteYour creativity always amazes me. Little stones, peace’s of puzzle for stars.
You are Super Smart to use your own way to go forward.
Thank you, merci, Danielle!
DeleteI agree, you are super smart! Love what you are doing Amanda.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, my retirement journey was similar to what Ann described.
ReplyDeleteI spent the first six months completely filling in my former 7am-3pm work schedule with plenty of activity. Most of them were fun: walking group, ladies coffee/chat, family style restaurant meals with foodies. And then there was the daily/weekly household chores. I enjoyed my days of freedom from the office environment but I was also exhausted.
After getting valuable inputs from my fellow retirees, I decided to change my approach!
Now I only have 2-3 recurring events each week, and the rest of my time is left open to do what I want. I just let the day progress as I feel. Read a book, go for a bike ride, do volunteer work, spend time with a friend or just relax and do nothing for a while (this was the hardest one for me).
I think this year of discovery will surprise you, too.
"This year of discovery" -- Grace, that's an inspiring way to describe the trip I am on! Thank you.
DeleteThis comment is from Val, who replied to me by email. Her notion of 'inhabiting time' is astute.
ReplyDelete"A question: What do you do if you haven’t done what the star chart is encouraging you to do on any given day? I ask because I know the trap of self admonishment and I know that it isn’t helpful.
What would “wanton wasting of time” look like or be like? I think you are congenitally unable to waste time! Perhaps there is a trap of doing without adequate reflecting...
I actually think that "making the art” to produce your star chart, your 12 month “placemat” and your puzzle, are as important as what they signify and how they are used. Because this is hands on working with the prospect of future time to inhabit. We tend to think of time as something we use, but I think that inhabiting time may be a more interesting and productive way to live and to think about time. It suggests that time is not so much a commodity separate from ourselves but is actually part and parcel of ourselves and how we live. So, it makes me wonder: are there other ways than calendars and clocks of measuring time?
Sometimes I am blown away by the time it has taken some artist or author to produce their piece. If it is a long time there is wonder. If it was a short time, there is wonder.
Brings me to a conclusion (not the conclusion) that there may be a trap in the measurement of time if measurement is only how we think about it…."