Nothing for me, thank you.
But my mother’s do, after my recent visit when each day’s main task was to do a clear-out of at least one cabinet or closet or corner. By the end of my one-week stay, Mum’s place had been lightened by several bags of pass-along goods and many piles of throw-away items.
Why do we have all this stuff?
That is the question we kept asking each other. So many turtleneck sweaters, when Mum no longer likes wearing that style. So many teabags of exotic flavours, when Mum most often drinks builder's tea. So many mugs, when Mum only ever uses her one perfect favourite one.
I venture to say we are each the same or, at least, I can say that I am.
I have collected two shelves of mugs over the years, some of which are lovely but not perfect for either tea or coffee drinking. Why do I keep them? Same goes for bowls and plates. And clothes, oh my goodness: Since Covid struck and I began to work from home, my sartorial requirements have shrunk exponentially. Odd how that happened. I still went to work everyday, but the fact that I was at my home desk reduced the variety of outfits required — and not only from the waist down. I stopped wearing something different every single day and, instead, cycled through a few favourite outfits that suited the new work context. From the many articles on this topic that I’ve read, I am not alone in this. I wonder what will happen when offices and schools fully open up and people are, once again, leaving their homes for work.
Our house is not big and, so, by force of circumstance, we have pared down over the years. And yet, still, our possessions far outstrip our routine regular needs. Sure, that special wrench or exceptional paintbrush must have their place. But two shelves of mugs? A linen closet full of towels and sheets, when two (maybe three) of each would actually suffice, given our capacity to do laundry whenever needed?
I know that buying something does not bring me happiness, though I do know that beautiful things bring me joy. But that beauty, I feel, must come with utility. And so, I have returned from my mother’s with a renewed commitment to not burden myself — or anyone else — with anything that is not
- consumable (ex. food and, obviously, art supplies and books),
- compostable (ex. food, and, possibly, clothing made by enlightened manufacturers), or
- of good quality (i.e., it will last a long time for me and it will still be good enough to pass along for someone else).
If it is not at least one of those things, it is more burden than gift — to me and to anyone else. So, thank you, but nothing for me.
———
Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.
Those sentences apply to me :
ReplyDeleteI “ have pared down over the years “.
My “possessions far outstrip my routine regular needs “.
“Buying something doesn’t bring me happiness “.
Two things help me. I’m not a compulsive buyer and my daughter, through the years often asked me : why do you keep this ? If I had no answer, I didn’t keep it.
I like your consumable, compostable and of good quality approach .
Your “thank you but nothing for me “ reminded me the reason why I didn’t participate in many gifts exchanges for years now. I don’t want to receive something I don’t want and don’t need and give to someone else something they don’t want and don’t need. It is not logical and ecological.
Thanks, Danielle. I am with you 100%. I think giving genuine feelings, maybe in a home-made card, is the best gift of all.
DeleteI have never been a fan of collectibles nor clutter. My home and yard is sparse. I have one potted plant outside at the entrance of the home. My husband’s friend told him it looks like an institution. I took it as a compliment. Clothing as well. I can pack up my entire life in three suitcases. That is all seasons .
ReplyDeleteI give my military training credit. Durning basic everything I owned, wore, ate and slept in I carried on my back. To this day I choose the simple uncluttered ( nothing unnecessary to insure) way of life.
I love my stuff! I'm in a gentle clearing out of things, clothes that I used to wear are a particular problem. I loved them, they're great quality and timeless, I'd love to find someone to give them to but it isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteBarbara: I agree -- it is not easy to find good places to pass things along; it takes more than just time. It takes a place to exist that will take them! For that very reason, I have things still in my possession that I, actually, no longer want or need but I have not yet found where or how to dispose of them.
DeleteLet's see if I can manage a comment this morning!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty good at "putting it out on the curb" but my partner can't bear to give up things. Therefore we have a pair of chairs that my own mother "willed" to Julie, very low, covered in cabbage roses, and neither of us can get up out of them so they're never used. They do look pretty in the sun room tho.
And we have an attic full of what I call dead people's stuff, including a box of Julie's mother's clothes that she can't get rid of.
Since the pandemic, most shopping has been on line. I've discovered the joy of the online catalogues -- thumb thru them virtually every day, fill up my carts, and never ever check out. It's as good as it gets! I ponder the worth of air fryers, can openers for arthritic hands, shoes and pants and tops of every size and style, baby toys, footballs for the little boys, and all sorts of utter crap that I neither need nor want. At almost 81, I have too much of utter crap already!
By the way, this isn't the brilliant essay on the need for turtle neck sweaters that I wrote yesterday. But then that was then and this is now.