How to replace a toilet seat in just four YouTube videos

Blessings of the universe on the makers of helpful YouTube how-to videos!

We bought our house almost 24 years ago, because Val and I liked the layout of the main floor, which enabled us to knock out several walls to open up the space. We redid the kitchen from the ground up, taking down the wall into the dining room to create one large light-filled cooking, eating and living space. We knocked the two small bedrooms into one large one. But we left the bathroom alone. It was functional, the pink colour scheme was bearable in the short term, and our bank account needed time to rebuild itself.

Three years in, we mapped out a plan for a new bathroom — from the studs out. We hired the necessary contractors, developed a razor-sharp project timeline, and then headed to the cottage for the duration of the work. Remarkably, the reno went according to plan and we returned to a modern bathroom. (Albeit with the solid and supremely heavy original iron bathtub still in place; that was simply too much to deal with. And it’s still in place and still too much to deal with.)

Now, twenty or so years in, our one toilet needs attention. The flushing mechanism is getting iffy and, if we’re going to deal with that why not also change out the seat. How difficult can it be?

Turns out, more difficult than imagined.

Video 1: Replace a toilet’s flush valve in three steps

1. Yes, sure only three steps if you have all the right tools and the one vital nut is not so hard to reach and so gummed up that the first easy step eludes you.
2. Halt this task
3. Get the red bucket from the basement
4. Flush manually with a bucket of water
5. Move on to the toilet seat replacement

Video 2: Remove a toilet seat with only one tool

1. Push in the side tabs to pull off the toilet seat revealing the baseplate
2. Get a Phillips screwdriver
3. Unscrew the two bolts holding the baseplate
4. The left comes off easily, no problem
5. The right one is stubborn, stripped, stuck
6. We grunt, we groan, we grumble (at each other)
7. We try holding from below with a crescent wrench, try prying from the top with a flathead screw driver, try WD40, try again, then stop

Video 3: How to remove a stripped bolt when replacing a toilet seat

1. I sign onto YouTube to seek help — and find it! It is amazing how many discussion forums, company videos and DIY videos are available online. In this case, it’s a discussion forum that saves our bacon: One guy says, Try a vice grip. Ah, I think. Yes, we have one of those.
2. I dig it out from the bottom of the toolbox.
3. Head back upstairs with it in hand, triumphant
4. I contort myself on the floor beside the toilet and use the vice grip to secure the rubber housing around the stripped bolt, Val stands above, gamely wielding the Phillips…turning, turning, turning (lefty loose-y) and — hooray: The very long bolt finally comes out.
5. The baseplate can now be removed.
6. The unit is ready for the new seat to be installed and secured into those now empty bolt holes.

I have triple checked that the new seat is the correct shape and length, so I unpack it, set aside the new bolts in their own package, and carefully read the instructions.

• Open the tabs at the back of the seat to reveal the holes through which you’ll secure the bolts

Um, right. Sounds simple, but how? I cannot get any purchase to open them. Back to YouTube. Find the Kohler-brand video. Watch the video twice to ensure it really is as simple as the guy makes it look. It truly seems to be.

Video 4: How to install a Kohler-brand toilet seat

1. Use a flathead screwdriver to gently pry open the tabs (ah, that's the trick!)
2. Place the new seat over the bowl to line up the now-visible openings over the bolt holes
3. Slip the bolts through from the top
4. Secure the generous-sized “self centering” (?) nuts from below. Note: In the video one large-handed man does this task solo. For this small-handed woman, I need help. It takes all four of our hands to secure each bolt: Val from the top, me lying contorted on the floor and reaching up from below to hold that self-centering nut.
5. Don’t over tighten.
6. Verify that the seat perfectly matches the front contour of the bowl
7. Adjust as necessary
8. Tighten each bolt
9. Test it out
10. Call the job done
11. Have a well earned cup of tea

Tomorrow, we’ll see if the tools we’ve borrowed from our friend Yvonne will enable us to get on with the flush valve replacement. Until then, the red bucket works just fine. And the new seat is perfect. Oh, and the plumber’s number is handy on the kitchen counter if (when) it comes to that…

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Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.