When one is enough, you have probably done some Swedish death cleaning

This is a staged photo: We own more mugs than shown here!

Back in August 1986, when my then partner and I packed up our life in Edmonton, Alberta and drove ourselves and the few possessions we could fit into our Toyota Tercel across the country to Halifax, Nova Scotia, it was a big adventure. Once arrived, we slept on the floor — literally, not even a futon mattress until several weeks into our new life; we ate off a Pepsi crate; and we made do without a desk. Of course, over time, we accumulated possessions and ended up moving first to Fredericton, New Brunswick, and then to Winnipeg, Manitoba with a moving-truck full of stuff.

Earlier this month, when I was packing up my late mother’s suite as the first act of dealing with her estate, I realized I was reversing the process — sorting through, packing up, giving away and, finally, making do* with just a glass, a mug, a plate and one small frying pan in which to scramble eggs: I no longer had a spatula, so flipping an egg for an ‘over easy’ breakfast was beyond my capacity. When my friend Jennie brought over a bottle of wine for us to enjoy, she used the one remaining glass, while I took the last-standing mug. And, of course, it worked. No one needs a wine glass to enjoy a cool white or the conversation that comes with the friend who brings the wine. My wine out of the mug tasted just fine.

Which is why, now that I am back in my own home, I am ruminating on the 36 glasses, 27 mugs, and 41 plates of various sizes in the kitchen cabinets. Only two of us live here!

I have read The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnussen. I understand the theory — and benefits — of downsizing and decluttering well before necessity requires it. However, I seem to find it challenging when there is neither deadline nor constraint looming on the horizon. In our house, Val and I have the space, so we have the stuff.

But I rather enjoyed having only a few items to manage in Mum’s kitchen in my final days there. It was freeing to use the lone mug, rinse it out, and have it ready for next time on the drainboard. No fabricated need for a tea mug, then a coffee mug, then a water glass, then a wine glass, etc. One receptacle for multiple purposes. I managed.

And I suppose that’s the line: on the one side, managing around the necessity of reducing and on the other appreciating the aesthetic and convenience of multiple choices. I need only one mug, but I enjoy using different mugs at different times of the day for different hot beverages. Hence the 27 in our cabinet!

I could never wrap my head around Marie Kondo’s decluttering philosophy of keeping only those things that spark joy for us. I never even tried her approach. Margareta Magnussen’s approach to keep only those things we deem essential or significant speaks better to me. She suggests beginning with the biggest items in the home and working your way down to the smaller stuff because, often, it’s the smallest items that pack the biggest emotional or sentimental punch. Magnussen suggests taking enough time to make the right decisions: Once gone, those precious items cannot be reclaimed.

Which is why I brought with me from Mum’s the toast rack my dad made in middle school and the cheese slicer my parents bought in Norway many decades ago. The bonus for me with both these items is that they have not only emotional but also practical value.

The toast rack — in use

Happily, the toast rack is the only one I own. However, our kitchen now holds two cheese slicers — Val has one from her early life that holds great value for her. And this is how possessions creep up on us. With even the best intentions in the world, unless we discipline ourselves to that lone mug and single plate (and no cheese slicer, as one sharp knife will do multiple jobs including slice a block of cheese), we inevitably end up with precious items we (believe) we cannot live without.

But I’m serving notice here on that ping pong table in the basement: Your storage time is up and I am committed to sending you on your way.

* I did have a bed to sleep in, as that was not being moved out until after I left. Phew.

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Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.