To throw in the towel or to stick around, that is the question

How do you know when to throw in the towel, to let go, to shut the door and leave? Alternatively, how do you know when it’s the moment to stay, to stick it out and do the work, to see what happens with a bit more grit and commitment?

For me, this is one of the core questions in life — in all things: our work, our relationships, our pursuit of anything, really.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since, on Friday evening, the news broke that here in Manitoba, the human remains found in the landfill just outside Winnipeg had been identified as those of Morgan Harris, one of four First Nations women preyed upon and murdered by a serial killer in 2022.

To search or not to search the landfill was a pivotal issue in Manitoba's 2023 provincial election: The Conservative Party said no, it couldn’t be done; the New Democratic Party said yes, it could be done and would be done. The NDP won the election. The search is not an easy undertaking, but it has always been the right thing, the necessary thing to do. From the start, Premier Wab Kinew made it clear that this was a moment to commit to the task, to be laser-focused, to exhaust every possible avenue of exploration. In short, Kinew knew this was the moment to stick it out and do the work, to live up to his mantra people first, always. And he was right.

I have also been thinking about Justin Trudeau and his drawn-out decision to step down as Liberal leader and, thus, Prime Minister of this country. He eventually got there — to the right decision, i.e., to leave. But, in my view, it took him far too long. I believe he got muddled between his personal priorities and those of the country. He dillied and he dallied and, now, there is a new Liberal leader who is Canada’s Prime Minister-designate, and soon we’ll have a federal election. I’m sure the country will survive whatever political turbulence ensues; however, I cannot help but think we would be better off if Trudeau had understood earlier it was time for him to throw in the towel, to leave. 

I’ve never been Prime Minister (obviously), but I do have a bit of experience figuring out when it’s time to leave a position of some import to me:

• Over the course of my working life, I threw in the towel on several different jobs when I knew a new one would give me greater challenges and rewards.
• In June 2021, I retired from college teaching when the job no longer gave me the autonomy and satisfaction I needed from full-time paid employment.
• Decades ago, I stepped down from being president of the Canadian Abortion Rights Action League (CARAL) when Val, my partner, was first diagnosed with cancer; my energy was needed at home (and the fight for reproductive rights would have to go on without me, which it did, of course).
• In my personal life, I have withdrawn from friendships when our paths have become too different to remain happily connected.

I think it’s a life skill to know when to throw in the towel and when to dig in your heels for the long-term. I’m sure I don’t always get it right, but I’m equally sure it’s a good thing to ask myself: Is this the time to stick it out? Or is it time to leave?

For a real-life illustration of this life skill in action, I recommend the recently published memoir The Full Catastrophe: All I Ever Wanted, Everything I Feared by Casey Mulligan Walsh. Walsh held me spellbound with her story of life tragedies and her persistence in choosing to survive them. You can read my review here.  

NOTE: This blog and my writing is going nowhere. I am in it for the long haul with Five Years a Writer, and I thank you for showing up here to read my words.

...................................................................................................................................................

To receive my weekly blogpost in your inbox, use the SUBSCRIBE feature (above, in the left-hand column), or email fiveyearsawriter at gmail dot com. Put SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. 

Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.

Photo by Irham Setyaki on Unsplash