Change is a four-letter word / Handle with care

Scilla, a hardy early spot of colour in my Canadian prairie flowerbed:
a sure sign that change is coming

Many years ago, an acquaintance asked me who my partner was. “Why, Val, of course,” I replied. “Oh my goodness,” came the response. “You’re still with her?” The tone was incredulous, the message clear: After all these years and you’re still with that woman. The implied exclamation points did not suggest anything positive. I was astonished then and remain so. That anyone would suggest that a connection cemented over time, that a commitment firmed through the ups and downs of experience is not something to honour and nurture, to cherish and to work with.

Of course, not every relationship is worthy of such respect. Some should never have been started never mind have lasted; some should cease limping along out of mere habit. But ending a relationship purely ‘for the sake of change’ or because ‘it’s been X number of years and new is better’ is, in my view, an odd approach to living in this world. Long-term provides a foundation on which to build necessary change. Long-term grows roots that hold firm even when the wind blows strong and fierce, destroying more fragile growth in its path.

I see this in my garden every spring. The hardiness of the early green shoots that speak to survival of the long hard winter with perennial roots or bulbs that naturalize against the odds in the habitat they migrate to — all this heralds the new season unfolding over time that will, eventually, bring growth and blooms and colour to what all winter was, to the naked eye, nothing. It is only now that the ‘nothing’ transforms itself into a ‘something’ that will be what it is precisely because of its deep-down roots. Yes, I plant the odd annual in a pot here and there for some bright early colour, because, like most prairie gardeners, I am impatient for that burst of brightness. But, mostly, I practice patience, each morning wandering round my small front yard with its several beds to see what has happened since the previous day. Progress is slow and steady, like so many things worth waiting for, worth staying with.

Canada’s new prime minister, Mark Carney, is, to me, like a colourful rogue bulb that has popped up in an unexpected place on the landscape. He is new to elected office, but has, in my view, shown himself worthy of the leading role the voters have given him. With an ounce or two of faith in the governing process, a touch of grace for Carney as mere flesh-and-blood human, and quite a lot of support from all around, I think we have a chance for change rooted in values that reflect my own: expansive, progressive, positive. As he said himself in Friday’s news conference, “I am in politics to do big things, not to be something.” He seems to understand that he is part of something larger than himself. He cannot do it alone. He will lead, yes, but he acknowledges the path is not straight and narrow, but will involve zigs and zags along the way.

I didn’t vote directly for him, but I wish him every success. That rogue bulb that he may be like? Well, I could get to appreciate where it has landed and the roots it will nurture in our collective Canadian garden for the seasons to come.

Change is a four-letter word
Want it, crave it, need it, find it
Beware when it lands

Change brings — what?
Change makes things different — how?
Depends what brought it about.

Fear is the square root of ‘change for the sake of it’ — 
“It’s time for a change.” “We need a change.” 
Why? To what end? Where will it get us? And who is the ‘us’?

Justice is the cube of hopeful ‘change for the better’ — 
“Something is wrong, we need to right it.” 
But only when empathy is multiplied by community 
and then again by resources. 
That’s when hope can blossom through action 
into deep, expansive, inclusive change.

Division is a four-letter word
And so is love and help and hope and heal


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Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.

Comments

  1. We keep the loving, kind, accepting relationships, the others can end abruptly or fade out over time and that's all good. Carney I believe is the educated, caring, capable person we need for the times we're in, he isn't carrying baggage from past personal political dramas and he is calm, frank in his responses (we're not used to that), and brilliant in finance. He has connections and the trust of other nations. We did well to have him as our government leader right now, I believe he can unite us better than any other choice that was available to us.

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  2. I recently read a CBC article that "gray divorces" are on the rise in Canada. Many couples over the age of 60 no longer want/ have to be together.

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  3. I'm astonished that some people would think that an established relationship is a not a good one, or that your life needs a shakeup. I'm not a sociologist, but I've always thought that a safe, stable trusting relationship was the end point of dating. My wife and I are celebrating our 30th anniversary this summer. It's not always been a smooth ride (especially when it comes to our kids) but I don't regret it one bit. I shudder to think about where I'd be today if she got bored of me after the first 10 years and dropped me for some other stud. And as for the PM I share your sentiments exactly. The fact that he's not a lifelong politician is one of his endearing qualities. The one thing I'd ever give Trump credit for is throwing us off the trajectory we were on for so long, where PP would be our PM now.

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  4. I’m in one of those long term relationships, 29 years next month. I did have to kiss a lot of frogs to get there though!

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  5. Lovely writing as usual. Your prime minister showed restraint and dignity during his meeting with our petulant child president. (Though no one would hold it against him if he cursed or laughed once he was back home). Sending apologies from 84% of us.

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  6. I like how you use metaphors with nature and human nature. A powerful poem. Thank you Amanda!

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