Pack your bags if you wish, but I'm content in my comfort zone, thank you.

The other day while driving around doing errands, I found myself yelling at the radio. The next guest was going to regale us lucky listeners with stories of his year-long travel to 52 countries around the world “and what he learned by stepping out of his comfort zone.”

While I did listen to the segment (and enjoyed it) I first yelled at the radio: Stop telling me to get out of my comfort zone! I am quite happy in mine! There’s nothing wrong with my comfort zone! I’ve worked hard to reach this place!

Since that moment of radio rage, I have wondered about my response to the suggestion that getting out of one’s comfort zone is a good thing. Was I protesting too much? Being defensive without sound reason? Hurling metaphorical sour grapes at the radio, the show’s host and the show’s guest? In the cold light of this morning, I don’t think so.

One dictionary describes ‘comfort zone’ as “a place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress”. Another says it is “a situation in which you feel comfortable and you do not have to do anything new or difficult.” Wikipedia has this more fulsome explanation: “A comfort zone is a familiar psychological state where people are at ease and (perceive they are) in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress … 'a behavioral state where a person operates in an anxiety-neutral position.’ Brené Brown describes it as ‘Where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized ... Where we feel we have some control.’”

That sounds pretty good to me and makes me realize that, actually, I get out of my comfort zone every single day — and sometimes multiple times in one day — when I listen to or watch the news. Plenty there to make me feel anxious, out of control and stressed.

But seriously. Travel is what that radio guest was talking about, and I can well imagine that as a (self-declared) single, not-old-sounding, white male his 52 weeks of global exploration was fantastic. He documented his journey on Instagram (of course he did) and his book on the experience will be published next year (good for him).

Also seriously: Traveling these days is not for the faint of heart. My brother was telling me recently about the woes his family experienced flying within Europe — delayed flights and cancelled flights; lost luggage and lumpy beds at their destination; then, soaring temperatures that made the anticipated fun activities untenable. They were glad to get home.

Equally seriously: There is probably a fine line between ‘comfort zone’ and ‘boring life’, but where that line is is different for each of us based on our background and experience, on our resources and resilience, and on our sex and gender.

Very seriously: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Usually attributed to Margaret Atwood, this quote sums up why it is so aggravating to me when it is presumed that getting out of my comfort zone by travelling will not only thrill me but make me a better person somehow. How can that be when even just walking in my own neighbourhood after dark presents very real potential danger for me as a woman? Statistics back me up: “46% of women globally do not feel confident or safe when walking alone at night in their neighbourhood … 64% of women in the Americas report not feeling safe, 47% in Africa and 45% in Europe.” (I know, also, that women are not necessarily safe in their own home; intimate partner violence in Canada is a very real issue.)

These days, I do not need to travel to get out of my comfort zone. These days, I ‘put myself out there’ every week when I post my writing to this blog. I never know if anyone will read my words. I don’t know how my words will land. I don’t know if troublesome comments will land in my in-box. But I keep writing and keep posting, because, these days, it is through words on the page (screen) that I am exploring who I am, what I have to say, and what I want to see in this world. Which I can sum up in just three words: Peace. Love. Justice. And I guarantee you that when that world exists, I’ll be the first to board a plane for somewhere new.

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Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash