Remembering Mendel Schnitzer: a fine human, a magnificent friend

a tiny portrait of Mendel I bought
at a fundraiser for
The Kidney Foundation,
an organization for which he
volunteered countless hours

Thursday, March 26, 2026

Nine years gone

Remembered today

and every day

Dear Mendel: 

Your physical self is long gone, but your spirit remains alive. What a presence you were on this earth. Full of life, of good will. Even when pain was getting the best of you through those many years of chronic illness, your eyes twinkled and you claimed "fabulous" as the way to get through every day, even the darkest. 

I know you will be happy to know that I continue to work with your beloved wife Deborah, who remains a force of creative energy, sharing her genius in our writing classes and bringing new stories -- including that novel she promised you -- to life.

Though you are gone, your own force of life continues, threaded tightly into your children's and your grandchildren's lives. And, if I may be so bold, into the lives of your friends, including me. That little oil painting portrait of you sits on our dining room sideboard, bringing "fabulous" Mendel vibes into our day, every day, always. 

Thinking of you with much love on this ninth March 26th,

Amanda 

-------------------

Tribute written on July 26, 2022 (Mendel's birth date)

It takes a lot to get through this life, but, if we’re lucky, we don’t have to face the ups and downs and roundabouts on our own. If we’re lucky, we have a few good friends with whom to face the challenges and, also, to share the joys.

Mendel Schnitzer was one such friend to me: there in the tough times and willing, so willing to share in the fun of life, too. He would have been 74 years old today, if kidney disease hadn’t felled him five years ago. I mourn him to this day. But in mourning him,

• I acknowledge his generosity in so much: his time (he was never too busy to do a favour), his skills (more than once, he helped us with plumbing issues at the cottage or the house), his resources (Need a tool? Mendel had it.).
• I give thanks for his sound advice in the early days of my freelance writing & editing business: “Don’t nickel & dime your clients to death. Know your value. Set your rates. Deliver good work.” It’s advice I follow to this day.
• I celebrate his authenticity: He spoke his mind and was always open to me speaking mine. Once, at a tough time during his ongoing illness, I made him a card onto which I had collaged a trio of oft-spoken swear words: “Sh*t. B*gger. F*ck.” There truly was nothing else to say, given what he was facing. He loved the card.
• I glory in the fun we had together: attending symphony concerts; visiting at the cottage; discussing politics; attending a book launch or arts event; or simply sharing a meal.

The saying ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’ describes those friends who leap in to help us through difficult times. Whether it’s big trouble or small, it’s easier to face it with someone by our side who has our back. Equally true is that fun is more enjoyable with someone by our side who wants to play as hard we do. If a trouble shared is a trouble halved, then I would argue that fun shared is fun doubled. And with Mendel, fun was more like exponential-ed.

Having friends is not a given in this life, so when we find them, it is our responsibility — and good fortune — to nurture the friendship with love and care and with fun, too, so the roots go deep and can withstand the fiercest tug of trouble.

I am lucky indeed, for I have many friends from every corner of my life. Today, on what, in my world, will always be Mendel’s birthday, I tell the story of our particular friendship as a song of praise to the value and the wonder that we can bring each other when we say, Let’s be friends.

I have written this with the blessing of Deborah Schnitzer, who was married to Mendel for almost 50 years. Deborah and I now have our own fun together, in the writing workshops we deliver.

———
Land acknowledgement: I respectfully recognize that I live on the original lands of Anishinaabe, Cree, Oji-Cree, Dakota and Dene peoples, and on the homeland of the Métis Nation.